BREAKING: UK adopts face sitting as protest tactic

Face sitting is now a "life-threatening" practice

Or so say the folks in the UK that just passed restrictions limiting what can and can't be done in British porn. The restrictions says that all porn produced has to be painfully vanilla: no female ejaculation, no bondage, no peeing, and no spanking, unless it's really, really soft. But be careful! The queen is watching...

The law is also extremely sexist, prohibiting certain depictions of female pleasure and agency that, for me, are allowed.

"Not only is the law misguided, it’s also deeply sexist. Showing female ejaculation on screen has been outlawed completely, while male ejaculation (on the face, breasts, feet, backside, wherever) faces no direct restrictions. Is female ejaculation really so vulgar and explicit that people shouldn’t see it, in pornography or anywhere else?" writes the New Statesman about the law.

“With this legislation, the UK is in danger of finding itself back in an age where porn is simply the boring, unrealistic, male fantasy of bimbos eagerly pleasing men as if it is their duty," one porn director told the Independent, "where women are submissive and lack ownership of their sexuality. Women in the industry will now fear the loss of their livelihoods as well as their sexual independence.”

It's a protest! It's a sit-in!

Well, sort of. In response, 500 people have organized #PornProtest, a face sitting protest outside Westminster, as British MPs debate the restrictions. That's right. Face sitting. If it wasn't ridiculous enough to imagine the British Parliament debating whether tying up, fisting, caning or peeing on another consenting adult on film should be illegal, now imagine it with hundreds of folks outside sitting on each others' faces.

The only thing better than that is that the UK government will have to pay people to review what porn gets approved.

Image via wikipedia with a CC BY 2.0 Licence