Can Sex Therapy and Surrogates Make Fucking Better?

Therapy has been around many years, and while more modern studies date back to the late 1800’s, even the ancient Greeks understood the value of talk and sex therapy. Over the years, our understanding of it has grown. We’ve reached a point where a lot of people can find value in having a therapist. For some, the type of therapist that will be of most value is a sex therapist.

Can Sex Therapy & Surrogates Make Fucking Better?

Sex therapy can do a great deal for us. While sometimes our issues around our sexuality are purely hormonal, often there’s a deeper issue that is preventing us from experiencing joy within our bodies. These issues can stem from aspects of our youth, abuse, shame, and even a general lack of knowledge as to what feels right and how our bodies work. While sex education teaches about sex and safety, we  have nothing to teach us about how to enjoy our bodies. One thing might feel good to one person and terrible to another.

I recently went to a large event, and I was surprised to find so many people there that hated sex. Many that never dated because they were afraid to finally have sex (and we’re talking people in their late twenties and early thirties) and others didn’t want to date because sex didn’t feel good and that’s something we are often expected to do when in a relationship. It wasn’t that these people didn’t have sexual desires, but they didn’t know how to enjoy sex and reach orgasm. Meeting so many people that were afraid of their bodies and didn’t know how their bodies worked sexually was distressing. Having a healthy sex life is something I depend on.

Here is where a sex therapist can come into play.

There are different types too. Sex therapists can counsel on topics like intimacy issues, fears and overcoming them, misconceptions around body shaming and what to expect physically, and so on. The process mostly involves talking, as with traditional therapists, but is centered around sex acts and sexuality. I find it helpful for people that have had some trauma, whether from sexual, physical, or mental abuse. Sex therapy is also useful for aspects of shaming and fear of intimacy.

Another type of sex therapist is called a Surrogate. These types of therapists (and I recommend checking your area for the legality of this process—while extremely beneficial—isn’t legal in all locations) can be more hands on. Some may assist you in getting comfortable and telling you what areas of your body to explore, but without touching you. Others will touch you, but this should always happen with a level of professionalism. After all, the point is to help you heal and become sexually awakened in a positive way. It isn’t about the therapist; it’s about the patient. This option will also involve talk, but physical aspects too.

Not just for the lone wolf...

For couples having a difficult time connecting in a sexual way, some sex therapists will also be present and offer input during sexual acts with your partner. And while that might seem awkward, finding better ways to understand how your bodies work together and how to please one another seems like a great thing to me.

If you’re struggling with your body and your sexuality, I highly recommend doing some research into sex therapists. Find one that works for you. That offers what you’re looking for. But understand that before any surrogacy takes place, there will likely be a lot of talking first. For more information on sex therapy, you can ask your doctor for recommendations or check out the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists website. There are links there as well as contact information. Happy exploration!

Go forth and fuck happy knowing there are endless possibilities!
 

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.