To suck a dick or not to suck a dick, that Is the question. Popcorn.dating asked Kayla Lords for the complete guide to blowjobs, whether you're on the giving or receiving end (or both!).
If your only real experience with blowjobs is the porn you watch, you might think that every throat can handle a ten-inch dick, every woman wants to gag until she pukes, and everyone loves having semen sprayed across their face and body.
Are there people in the world who fit those descriptions? Absolutely. Is that what you should expect every time you give or receive a blowjob? No.
Blowjobs Aren’t Required
Just because blowjobs are common, it doesn’t mean everyone enjoys them, offers them, or wants them. Like everything else related to sexual pleasure, it’s a personal decision. As someone who sucked dick for years because I thought I was supposed to, I rebelled in my marriage and refused. Later, when I entered a different relationship focused on communication and mutual pleasure, I learned to enjoy them again.
If you’re the one wanting your cock sucked, you shouldn’t guilt or badger your partner into it. While there’s plenty of pleasure to be had without a tongue on your dick, if it’s that important to you, look for a partner who enjoys giving.
If you’re the blowjob-giver, make sure you’re doing it because you want to. You may enjoy giving your partner pleasure. You may enjoy the power you feel when they moan for you. But only do it because you’ve made that decision, not because of pressure or guilt.
Communication is Key
In every part of a relationship, communication is the key to success. Even if you’re just fuck buddies, who get together when you’re bored. Great sex means you have to let your partner know when they’re doing a good job or when something is off.
When it comes to the topic of blowjobs, you should talk about what you like and what you don’t like. If you hate receiving them, you might want to mention that before your partner gets down on their knees and unzips your pants with their teeth.
Love blowjobs and want to give or get the best one of your life? Talk to your partner. It doesn’t have to be a serious conversation when the lights are on; it can be through dirty talk. Say things like, “I want to lick your balls” or “I love it when you suck my head like a lollipop", it still counts as communication.
Communication doesn’t end after the first blowjob, either. You can enjoy giving or receiving blowjobs and not love everything about it. For example, if you hate to swallow or get semen on your body, speak up.
How to Give Good Head
Want to give a good blowjob? Every partner is different, but certain things are universal.
- Ask them what they like.
- Ask what they don’t like.
- Watch their reactions. If something makes them moan or clutch the sheets (or your head), keep doing that.
- Say things like, “Do you like that?” or “Want me to keep going?”
- Stop doing things they don’t enjoy.
- If you’ve got a quiet one, check in.
- If you’ve got a noisy partner, pay attention when they get quiet as it can sometimes mean they’re not into it.
- Try different positions. Lay in bed, try 69, whatever feels right for you both.
- Use your hands, too.
- Mix in other sensations. Add suction, or swirling motions, and be creative with your tongue.
- Be careful with your teeth. My partner happens to enjoy the feel of my teeth on his shaft, but not everyone does.
How to Receive Good Head
It’s called a blowjob for a reason. Your partner is doing some serious work down there. Here's how to be a good receiver while they’re slurping on your dick:
- Tell them when you like something.
- Tell them when you don’t.
- Don’t assume everyone wants to gag on your dick.
- Don’t face-fuck someone unless you’ve asked.
- Not everything you see in porn is real.
- Do your very best not to put semen in places your partner doesn’t want.
- Offer to reciprocate either at the same time or later. Unless your partner tells you otherwise, don’t ignore their oral sex needs.
- If you can, warn your partner before you orgasm. There’s nothing more surprising than a mouth full of come. It almost came out my nose one time because I was surprised.
- Tell them when they did a good job. Yes, you should both enjoy the blowjob, but let's face it, you got the most out of that moment.
If you enjoy kinky, power exchange blowjobs, talk to your partner about it first and agree how you’ll play. Ordering an unsuspecting partner to get on their knees or forcing them to gag on your penis can kill the mood if they’re not into that kind of thing.
Not everyone enjoys giving blowjobs. Not everyone has had good experiences giving or receiving them. Before any mouth touches any dick, talk about it, make sure you both want it, and then do your best to be a good blowjob giver and receiver.
Kayla Lords is a freelance writer, sex blogger, and a masochistic babygirl living the 24/7 D/s life. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @Kaylalords.
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