7 Things you should probably know about anal sex

1. You can’t just slip it in

So you’re going doggy style and its right there. What do you do? Oh the opportunities, you could just slip it right in and she might love it. Or, she might not… Anal is a bit like playing with fire. Its either great, or someone is going to get hurt. So, play your bets safe and maybe mention it before hand. You don’t need a sit down conversation surrounding the topic of his or her ass, but it is probably best to get her views on it first before you go galloping in.

2. Spit really isn't an attractive lubricant

Whatever type of porn you’re into, many of us have seen those on top spitting on someone’s ass to create some lubrication. Gay or straight, I’m not sure I’d like anyone spitting on me full stop. There are loads of different lubes out there, so you’ll have no trouble finding the right one for your anal adventures, and you won’t have to be spitting everywhere like some sort of teenager with an attitude problem.

3. Those ‘screams’ could be pleasure or pain

Referring back to my previous point, slipping it in without any notice could easily be ripping your partner's ass to bits. While you may have texted earlier that day with the intention of “smashing their back doors in” I don’t think that will be taken literally. They might be gripping onto the bed sheets in pleasure waiting for you to take the next thrust, or they could be hinting they've had enough. Be wise about it and notice the difference.

4. Go in with a skin

The obvious safe sex conversation aside, anal sex can be a bit of a shitter otherwise. Not only can wearing a condom help reduce the risk of any infections, but it'll keep things from getting too messy afterwards. Make sure to use a new condom if you go from vaginal to anal sex, and back again, because, hygiene.

5. Stick a finger up there first

Girls, and guys, if you’re contemplating anal sex, are you aware of the possible pain? You might not even like someone going up the tail pipe, so slip a finger (or two if you’re feeling frisky) up there first to get used to the feeling of it. Butts need to be warmed up: this way it won’t come as much of a shock when his cock is going in that direction. With all the women’s glossies advising that you “guide” his dick in the right place, remember you’re not controlling a SatNav here.

6. An anal douche is not a present

While us women like to look all sweet and seductive at all times, the reality of this is complete bullshit. Yes, we like to shave our legs and have our bits finely tuned ready for your arrival, but when it comes to going up our asses, we’re a little bit more apprehensive. The merest glimmer of a possibility of us exploding all over ourselves (and you, good luck with that) is pretty devastating. While an anal douche is a good idea to stop both of us from getting covered in shit, it doesn't make it a great present, so maybe twin it with a bunch of flowers as well yeah?

7. Don’t be turtle-heading beforehand

If you’re going to take a dick in the ass, yes it’s great to use a douche, yes you need to have some foreplay beforehand blah blah blah, but you also need to go shit out a log too. So don’t be afraid to empty your rectum and stink the bathroom out because I’m sure he’d prefer you did that than took a dump all over his pride and joy of a cock.

© allekk / Dollar Photo Club and Nick Freund / Dollar Photo Club