Google “oral sex tips.” Go ahead, I’ll wait. Did you get 2.5 million results in 0.46 seconds, too? It’s safe to say that a lot of us think of oral sex and how to do it better.

If you’re here, reading an article with “oral sex” in the title, I’m going to assume you’re part of the majority of adults who enjoy it or want to enjoy it. It’s important to realize that not every partner you have is going to like oral sex. That doesn’t have to be a relationship or hook-up deal breaker, but it is important to realize that not everyone loves it.

However, if you’re here, you’re likely one of the millions of people who has wondered about, searched for, or agonized over oral sex, fellatio or cunnilingus. Many people make the mistake of thinking oral sex is just another part of foreplay, guaranteed to warm up your partner but one of the steps you take on the way to the “good part.”

Penetrative sex can be the “good part,” but it doesn’t have to be. Oral sex can be your main sex act of the evening - or hour, depending on your stamina. If you want oral sex to be more than just a quick lick on the way to fucking, there are a few things you need to know.

 

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The Best Oral Sex Tips:

1. Take Your Fucking Time

Quickie sex has a purpose. You have only a little time and a little (or a lot) of pent up sexual energy. This is the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am that parents and anyone fucking their office cubicle neighbor knows very well. Oral sex shouldn’t be the quickie you have in the locked bedroom or office stairwell.

Unless you orgasm at the slightest touch, oral sex is made for patience. There’s the warm-up, whether it’s starting at the base of his cock and running your tongue up one side and down the other or licking her labia, tasting her slit, before teasing her clitoris with the tip of your tongue.

Once everyone’s warmed up, now it’s time to enjoy the taste of and the screams, moans, and groans coming from your partner. For those who love oral sex, they say they can stay between their partner’s legs for hours. I’m not sure I could handle a tongue on my clitoris for that long, but I’d be willing to find out. When your tongue gets tired or your scalp hurts from the way your partner pulls your hair, that’s usually when it’s time to bring it home for an orgasm.

2. Vary Your Speed and Technique

Like penetrative sex, you don’t (and shouldn’t) stick with the same speed and motion all the time. Think about it - really good sex often mixes fast thrusts with slower ones, the quick and short thrusts with the long and hard ones. Oral sex isn’t much different. Long, lapping licks from one end of their genitalia to the other combined with light nibbles (watch the teeth! Not everyone likes that.), sucking, and maybe even some hand or finger action. Go faster. Go slower. Wrap your hand around his shaft. Fuck her pussy with your tongue. Oral sex has a million and one variations, and each one will cause a different sensation and reaction.

Pay attention to your partner’s reactions.

If your partner is a loud shrieker when they get worked up and have gone silent, try something else. If they never makes a noise and now they’re yelling their head off, don’t stop! As a woman, when the tongue on my clit becomes overwhelming, I alternate between holding onto my partner’s head and hair and pushing him away. He’s learned to hold on tighter and go in for an orgasm.

3. 69 is a Fun Game - If You’re Into It

Not everyone loves 69, and that’s okay. Many people say they can’t focus on their partner when they’re receiving pleasure. If you haven’t tried it yet, see how you like it. Make it a game. Who can make the other one orgasm first? Who will be forced to let go first in order to scream? Who can suck and slurp the longest?

My partner and I “challenge” one another. I want to make him throw back his head and let himself enjoy my mouth. He wants to make me squirt all over his face. Sometimes I want to drive him so crazy that he throws me off of him, pulls me into position, and fucks me hard. But sometimes, we just want to make the other one have an orgasm or feel pure pleasure together.

4. Ladies First

I’m not going to assume every sexual relationship is male/female, but let’s face it, many women can’t orgasm through penetrative sex. Other women need more than a few fingers or strokes of a hand, too. And plenty of women, myself included, are multi-orgasmic while most men only have one maybe two orgasms during sex. Oral sex is great for drawing out your own orgasm, and making sure the lady in your life gets off at least once.

Sure, you might end with penetrative sex, hammering a cock (real or fake) into her pussy over and over again, but first, melt her bones and let her have her own moment of “la petite mort” by using your tongue. Don’t forget, wet, slippery pussies are much easier and more satisfying to fuck, too. Don’t use your tongue just to get her wet, use it to make her scream your name (or God’s) in multiple languages. Give her as many orgasms as she’s capable of (and wants), and then fuck the hell out of her. Or not.

5. Focus On Everything, Not Just the 'Good Parts'

When you’ve been with your partner for a while or if you’ve read all the oral sex tips on how to be amazing at it. It’s possible that you’ll focus on the “good parts” - her clit or the tip of his cock. Yes, those are very sensitive areas. Personally, I can orgasm almost instantly with the right pressure on my own clit. But there’s more to our partners’ bodies than the most sensitive spots.

My partner loves it when I slurp and lick his glans (the tip) like it’s a lollipop. But he also loves it when I put my mouth on his testicles, too or my fingers stroke his perineum. Of course, I go crazy when he uses the tip of his tongue to torture my clit, but I also love it when he tongue fucks me, too. You might know your partner’s hot buttons and what gets them off quickest, but to draw out their climax, tease them or give them even more pleasure by exploring every part of their genitalia.

Not just something to tick off on your sexual bucket list:

Oral sex, whether fellatio or cunnilingus is much more than another thing to check off your mental foreplay list: somewhere between touching her breasts, kissing his neck, and penetration. It is and can be all you do together before passing out in post-coital bliss. The key is to treat it like you would penetrative sex. Warm each other up, pay attention to the other’s reactions, take your time, vary what you do, and enjoy the pleasure.

An orgasm doesn’t have to be the goal, but the mutual pleasure should be.


Kayla Lords is a freelance writer, sex blogger, and a masochistic babygirl living the 24/7 D/s life. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @Kaylalords.


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