Women Dating Women: The Double Sided Dildo Misconception

Do you enjoy penetration? It seems like a simple question, yet for women dating other women, this isn’t always easy to answer. Some don’t want penetration, others do, but what they want inside them may vary a great deal. Too often assumptions are made about what women want (like a double sided dildo for example), and it’s a serious problem. For me, the key is asking.

Women Dating Women - Double-Sided Dildo Misconceptions

When I had my first official girlfriend, I couldn’t wait to get my fingers inside her warm, wet vagina. I wanted to feel her. To know I was with a woman and entering her most delicate lady parts with my fingers. Mostly, I wanted to explore her g-spot and to see what areas felt best to her. All things I couldn’t do if I’d been using a dildo.

Imagine my surprise when some of the men in my life were excited for us and ready to buy my girlfriend and me a double sided dildo. My first thought was, “What? Do they really think that’s what we want?” My second thought was, “That’s personal. Why would I want a friend buying something so intimate for me?”

Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with double sided dildos or gifts. In fact, there are some fantastic toys on the market! Dildos that enter your vagina and anus at the same time and vibrate or tickle your clit. They can be fantastically fun. But this doesn’t mean that I want one side in my girlfriend, and the other side in me.

Why I’m with a woman in the first place...

When I’m with a woman, I want her sweet scent, her tender folds, her inner muscles tightening around my fingers as she comes… I want to feel her, not hold a piece of plastic. Just as when I’m with a man, I want to feel him. Which just so happens to include his cock. I prefer flesh over toys.

For women who only date other women, this becomes even trickier. A lot of men I know (and some hetero women too) are under the impression that lesbians love dildos. Not just double-sided, but all dildos. This assumption baffles me as well. A lack of physical penis does not equate to the desire for a plastic one.

Which isn’t to say that lesbians or women that date more than one sex don’t like double sided dildos. Many I know do. A toy can be fun when thrown into the mix once in a while and there are many now that don’t even look like a penis. Even the double-sided sort! So if a person desires penetration but doesn’t want the penis to look, there are options.

When in doubt, ASK!

Remember, any area of confusion around what a woman wants can easily be remedied with one simple step of asking.  Some gals love the enchanting options we have for double-sided dildos. Others desire different sorts of penetration, and some, no penetration at all. I say, to each her own in this wonderful world of choices!

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.