Are you too tired for sex? Most couples have experienced a time when one partner wants sex and the other desires nothing more than sleep. This makes sense as couples get older and have to balance work, kids, the home, errands, and whatever else they have going on. While most men I know can be dead tired and with a simple hand on their penis, flip the tired switch to awake, I know very few women that have that ability. Myself included. Yet one amazing night, my husband accidentally found my switch! And it’s not one either of us thought would work so well. It was a massage.
Massage turns me on!
There, I’ve said it. This may not sound like a big deal, but this realization has helped my husband and I significantly. When it comes to being aroused, we have a lot of differences. While he enjoys making out and very sexual forms of touch upfront, those do the opposite for me. Sexual touch doesn’t put me in the mood and instead pulls me further from it.
Sensual touch, however, has a very different effect on me.
For many years our differences caused my husband and I issues. It could just be that I’m super weird, but after talking to a lot of other wives and moms, I’ve come to learn that so many of us are tired and achy at the end of the day. Thoughts of sex and fast movement when we’re already exhausted aren’t arousing. Sensual massage, however, most definitely is.
I didn’t know this would work so well until one night when I was falling asleep, completely wiped out from a long day, my husband thought he’d be sweet and massage my back. He began at my shoulders and worked his way down. When he reached my lower back, mainly the hip area, I noticed I was getting wet. The more he rubbed there, the more I squirmed. By the time he reached my butt, I was wide-awake.
With a good massage, pretty soon my, I just want to sleep, became a, please fuck me now!
Realizing massage turns me on was fantastic news to my husband. The more we explore this type of sensual touch, the more I find how much it hits my buttons in all the right ways. The type of massage makes a difference too. If he’s doing deep tissue work in my shoulders, it’s less likely to arouse me than if he’s working on my lower back. Inner thigh massage is also quite effective for getting me in the mood.
If you’re finding your spouse or partner too tired for sex, try using a little massage as foreplay. Explore your partner’s body and find what works best. Some may fall fast asleep, but for so many women I know, massage rids them of those aches and pains that were making sex sound so dreadful, and causes instead a sweet connection that builds up to lovely sexual encounters.
Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.
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