The female orgasm - Oh the places you’ll go!


The female orgasm is a bit of a mystery to a lot of people. And it’s not just necessarily men, a lot of women have never come or looked at their vulvas. We’ll take a look at the different ways women can come and why it’s sometimes a bit of a sticky subject.

As a woman, I’ll admit that up until a few years ago, I didn’t know a lot about orgasms. I thought they were something other women had, and when they did, they were huge, explosive things that turned her into mush.

Every body is unique, and for women, especially, there is no one way to do anything, especially have an orgasm. Porn might show the big, exciting orgasms that seemingly occur from being pounded by a thick cock for 30 seconds, but there are so many different ways to come and so many different types of orgasms. If you aren’t experiencing what we’ve been taught is the “typical” orgasm, that doesn’t mean a thing.

Clitoral orgasms
This one comes (heh, no pun intended) as no surprise to anyone with a clitoris, I’m sure. Yes, stimulating the clitoris with its 8000 nerve endings can, with the right stimulation and enough time, bring a woman to orgasm. If you’re new to the clitoris, welcome! And remember, although we might refer to this as our hot button, please be kind to the clit. Pressing it like a doorbell and you’re a delivery guy with a “special package” isn’t always going to do it for every woman. Take your time and figure out how that particular clit likes to be handled.

G-spot orgasms
Apparently, there are still some people in the world who don’t even believe the g-spot exists, which tells me they just haven’t found it yet. Most associated with making a woman squirt, once the g-spot is located (hint: it’s behind the front wall of a woman’s vagina), you’re almost guaranteed to set off fireworks. If you’re unsure whether you’ve found it or not, it feels like a rough patch within the vagina that when rubbed, pressed, tapped, or pounded (during penetration) can create intense orgasms for a woman.

Vaginal orgasms
Vaginal orgasms are most often g-spot orgasms. The difference is that no one went hunting specifically for the g-spot. It was more of a happy accident caused a perfect angle or cock size during sex. Only about a third of women can orgasm through vaginal penetration alone but speaking as someone who has had it happen, they’re pretty good. The sensations aren’t the same as a g-spot or clitoral orgasm but the intensity is still there. During sex, you also have stimulation from bodies coming together, the sounds, the smells, where everyone’s hands are, and more, all contributing to the orgasm.

Blended orgasms
Blended orgasms are some of the most powerful and beautiful variations of female orgasm. Why? If a clitoral orgasm is great, and a g-spot or vaginal orgasm is great, then imagine combining the two. This is the orgasm that, for some women, causes the stereotypical and metaphorical fireworks to explode during climax. Stimulating her clit and g-spot at the same time may cause even the quietest comer to scream like a banshee. Curling toes, nails down bare skin, and screeching, lots of screeching are all my own experience with a blended orgasm.

Nipple orgasms
For anyone who wonders whether it is possible to orgasm without any stimulation of the clitoris, g-spot, or any other part of a woman’s vulva, the answer is yes. Nipple orgasms are real. When a woman’s nipples are played with, tweaked, touched, pinched, sucked, whatever she likes, specific pleasure centers in her brain light up. Part of the reason some women can orgasm simply from having their nipples touched is because the part of her brain going off like fireworks is the same part that lights up when her clit is stimulated. Many women need more than just their nipples touched to get off, but not all of us. Remember, not all women have the same response to nipple stimulation.

Anal orgasms
An orgasm during anal play isn’t just for the guy pounding away at a woman (or anyone else’s) ass. If you haven’t experienced anal for yourself - or the experience wasn’t a good one - this may come (pun intended) as a shock but yes, whether it’s anal play with toys or good old anal sex, a woman can have an orgasm. There are nerve-endings in that area which aren’t used to be stimulated and the feeling of being “full” is common with anal. With plenty of lube and the ability to relax and enjoy the moment, a female orgasm is definitely possible.

Screaming orgasms
Every woman orgasms a little differently, depending on personality, mood, and what’s going on around you. Screaming orgasms are what we tend to see in porn with a lot of “Oh my Gods” and “Fuck mes!” and definitely some “I’m going to come!” moments. For me, a screaming, loud, wailing orgasm is the norm - unless I think the neighbors or kids can hear me, and then it’s more of a strangled, choking sound. Not every woman gets loud so don’t assume if she’s not yelling down the house she’s not enjoying herself.

Quiet orgasms
I’ll admit I only have experience with these out of necessity but yes, a woman can make minimal noise and still have a mind-blowing orgasm. If you’re used to audible cues, you’ll need to learn new signs. They’re not hard to spot - grabbing and pulling you closer, pushing her pelvis into your hand, tongue, or cock, shaking legs, curling toes, arching back. She doesn’t have to make a sound for you to know she’s enjoying herself.

Bored orgasms
For women who really enjoy masturbation and believe in the benefits of female orgasm - relaxation, better sleep, more comfort with our own bodies - sometimes, we give ourselves an orgasm because we’re bored or we need to sleep. There’s nothing else to do and our Lelo or Hitachi is looking pretty good. Hell, sometimes we jill off because it’s better than taking an Ambien. Not every orgasm a woman has is with a partner and not all of them are because we’re sex-fiends who crave orgasms (although that’s a legitimate reason for an orgasm, too).

Small, shuddery orgasms
No matter what porn tells you, not every orgasm is massive and explosive. Some women, because we’ve been taught through fiction and movies that orgasms are big, obvious releases that feel like electricity whizzing through your body, can’t always tell when they’ve orgasmed. Or think it might not be real because it wasn’t a big one. Wrong. The stages of an orgasm are simple: excitement, plateau, climax, and recovery. What we know about an orgasm is the climax, and sometimes, it’s clenched muscles and then a feeling of release. Nothing big. No big brass band. No gushing fluids. Just a simple tightening of our muscles and then, usually after a big shuddery breath, a feeling of being loose and relaxed. Those types of female orgasm are just as legitimate as any other.

Squirting, explosive orgasms: Saving the best for last!
You didn’t think I was going to leave out the big, crazy orgasms that most of us are after - whether as the giver or the receiver - did you? Not every explosive orgasm will end in squirting, gushing, or ejaculating, but I can almost guarantee that nearly every squirting orgasm will be explosive in some way. Sometimes, the explosion is the surprise of seeing or feeling fluids pour out of her body. Sometimes your entire body feels like it’s on fire, the pressure builds until you think you’re going to explode, and then - WHOOSH! - you orgasm in a big wet mess.

The best part about all of the different “types” of orgasms is that on any given day, depending on our mood, our partner, and what our body is doing, we can have any combination of these. Quiet clitoral orgasms because we’re bored. Anal orgasms that make us scream until the neighbors call the cops. A vaginal orgasm that makes us shudder and clench.


There’s no right or wrong way for a woman to orgasm. All that really matters is that everyone involved had a good time.



Kayla Lords is a freelance writer, sex blogger, and a masochistic babygirl living the 24/7 D/s life. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @Kaylalords.