How to Have Sex in a Graveyard and Not Get Caught

Whether you’re a thrill-seeker chasing that ghostly rush or simply craving a secluded spot to get freaky with a date, having sex in a cemetery isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s equal parts daring, erotic, and deffo a touch spooky. Here's how to fulfil your frightening fantasy safely, sexily, and with respect.

Stroll through your local cemetery or graveyard and alongside the tombstones you’re bound to see folk out walking their dogs. But forget our fluffy friends for a moment; you may also spy people dogging themselves, or indulging in, well, a little boning on top of the bones.

Yep, having sex in a cemetery is — despite what you might claim in polite company — a total rite of passage for many. It happens way more than you’d think. In fact, cruising for sex in graveyards has long been a thing in the queer community, but these days, couples of all sexualities sneak in for a snog, grope or full-on graveyard romp.

And while spontaneous shagging can be fantastic, when it comes to sex outdoors, you don’t really want to be caught in the act — at least not by anyone who isn’t already in on your sexy plan. So, if you're going to have sex in a cemetery or graveyard, you really need to do a few things in advance to make sure your kinky fantasy goes smoothly. But, before we get to that, let's look at what makes cemetery sex such a turn-on for some Popsters. 

Graveyard Sex: Umm, Why?

Getting it on in a graveyard might not be near the top of your sexy bucket list, but here’s why plenty of people are getting freaky among the headstones.

How to give great head(stone)

First up, privacy. Younger daters especially don’t always have their own space — think flatmates, nosy parents, paper-thin walls. Graveyards? Free entry, usually dead quiet (pun fully intended), and loaded with overgrown corners perfect for a quickie.

Unless of course, the idea of getting caught knickers-down over a tombstone is what floats your boat. That's the thrill factor. The taboo. The what if someone sees us? rush that can make sex feel even hotter. And for some, the idea of ghostly voyeurism — being watched by the otherworldly — adds a deliciously eerie edge. 
 

“Having sex in a cemetery is a total rite of passage for many. Couples of all sexualities sneak in for a snog, grope or full-on graveyard romp.”

Then there’s just the sheer kink factor of doing it in a sacred space, surrounded by the dead. Doing the one thing that sustains humanity amongst those that are long gone can be thrillingly life-affirming.

Planning Ahead: Cemetery Sex

If you’re thinking of trying a graveyard grapple, a little prep can make or break your spooky sesh. Whether you want to use your local graveyard or one a little further away from home, you need to visit that chosen cemetery in advance. This way you can check for the most secluded area to have sex in, check for security cameras, and find out the opening and closing times, so you will know when there’s likely to be fewer people around.

Also: watch your footing. Gravestones can be wobbly, cracked, or fragile, so scope the area and pick a safe (and respectful) spot. Choose an area with graves that won’t be destroyed by anything vigorous that might happen.
X marks the spot: scope out your chosen graveyard first

Then there's the stuff you'll need to bring. It could be damp or muddy, so take a blanket with you and a change of clothes just in case. Plus, remember the essentials for safe sex, like condoms (if you use them) and lube. If you're planning to have sex in the cemetery at night for that added spook-factor, bring a flashlight too — the area will likely be unlit and you don't want to get lost.
 

Prepare an Excuse 

No matter how prepared you are, there's a chance you could get caught having sex in a cemetery. Practise your excuse in advance, so you don’t say something silly in your panic. You could say you were there on a dare, you feel closest to a passed loved one in the cemetery, you couldn’t sleep and decided to go for a walk, or even you’re an author and doing research. Pick something that you know will sound convincing and less likely to get you into trouble. 
 

Sex In a Cemetery: On the Day

There are still a few practical things you need to be aware of on the day of your sexy, spooky adventure:

• Plan your visit for a quiet time of day; night time is probably best.
• Be on the lookout for security lights and cameras. You don’t want to have your sexy moment caught on camera or interrupted by a security guard.
• Wear appropriate clothing. Easy access clothes (no underwear) is a must, so if you hear someone coming, you can be fully dressed again in moments. 

Try to keep alert to noises around you even when you’re in the middle of fulfilling your sexy fantasy, so you don’t get caught in the act. Remember: the longer you spend out there, the bigger your chance of discovery is, so don’t hang around, enjoy the post-coital bliss elsewhere.

 Searching for things that go bump in the night (or day)

If you want to build the spooky sexual tension, maybe read a ghost story to your date before you leave the house or as you approach the cemetery. You could tell ghost stories as you walk to your chosen spot, or describe how excited you are to be finally fulfilling such a kinky fantasy. This way you can make the experience last without upping your chances of getting into trouble. 
 

After you've had sex in your chosen part of the graveyard, you need to check the area around you. Make sure you’re not leaving anything that wasn’t already there. Take any used condoms with you, and check you’ve got all your clothes and belongings. Yes, you’re covering your steps but also being respectful of public space. 
 

“For some, the idea of ghostly voyeurism — being watched by the otherworldly — adds a deliciously eerie edge to sex in a cemetery.”

And of course, being out in a graveyard especially late at night, you might want to be prepared in case of paranormal activity. Maybe a wooden stake might come in handy or some holy water in case any vampires, ghosts or ghouls are lurking around! 
 

Is Sex In a Cemetery Legal?

While some people frown upon graveyard sex as being disrespectful to the dead, the legalities of doing it will be depend where in the world you are and the local laws that apply. As this Quora thread on cemetery sex explains, you could potentially get into trouble for the following things:

• Trespassing if you’re in the cemetery after hours.
• Public indecency if a member of public catches you having sex or even just displaying your genitalia.
• Vandalism if you damage graves or other parts of the cemetery.

Yes, people have been arrested for getting down 'n' dirty in graveyards, so check the law where you live and bear this in mind before you go ahead with any fun. 
 

Takeaway: Graveyard Sex

Whether you’re a thrill-seeker chasing that ghostly rush or just craving a secluded spot to get freaky, cemetery sex definitely isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s equal parts daring, erotic, and maybe a touch macabre — a kinky combo that’s bound to get your blood pumping (and maybe a few spirits whispering!). Just remember, a cemetery is still a sacred space, so keep your antics discreet, respectful, and leave nothing behind but the faint echo of your moans in the midnight air.

At the end of the day (or night), sex in a graveyard is all about the contrast — life meeting death, passion defying stillness. It’s spooky, it’s sensual, and if done right, it can be a hauntingly hot memory you’ll never forget. Just don’t be surprised if, the next time you pass a headstone, you catch yourself smiling... or wondering if someone — or something — is smiling back.