Happy Hypersexual Halloween

The magically spooky time of Halloween is coming up soon.  Halloween is when people can explore their creative side with some clever costumes, their down-to-earth side if they don’t have a costume, or their whatever-they-want side when they wear whatever they want.

Happy Hypersexual Halloween

For adults, Halloween is often celebrated by partying while in a costume. It cannot be ignored that costumes can be skimpy on the material – both for men and women. However, there seems to be a sexualization of costumes for women, including cartoon characters, uniformed jobs, or really, just about anything. Halloween costumes tend to hyper-sexualize women, but that doesn’t mean that harassment is suddenly acceptable.

The best part about Halloween is that you can wear whatever you want. You can show up in a homemade robot outfit, or you can show up in your underwear paired with cat ears. You might be a little chilly in October if you choose to go in lingerie, but the weather should be the only negative risk that happens on Halloween.

Naughty, naughty kitty....

Unfortunately, this is not the case. There is a ‘slut shaming’ mentality around Halloween costumes. It doesn’t even have to be underwear. I remember being called a slut by a passing car while dressed up as a cowgirl one year. I was walking in broad daylight in a regular jean mini-skirt, an oversized plaid top and cowboy boots.

Halloween costumes do not mean you are allowed to catcall someone. It does not mean the person is asking to be touched. It does not mean that the person deserves being assaulted. No amount of alcohol or lack of clothing warrants harassment in any form.

It's sexier to ask first!

For some reason, when a costume is involved, people don’t think that consent is required. There have been huge issues at cosplay events, and there continue to be problems at Halloween parties. If a man is wearing a Spartan outfit, it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to touch his abs or his butt. If a woman is wearing a Wonder Woman costume, it does not mean you can verbally degrade her or touch her inappropriately. A costume does not mean the person gives their consent.

We don’t mean to scare you – we’ll leave that to the ghosts and goblins! But, if you are planning on heading to a Halloween party (which you most definitely should), then here are a few things to remember about consent.

For touch & play to be okay: Fucking ask first!

Costumes are not a verbal agreement or an invitation.  
It is never okay to touch someone without their consent. It is never okay to verbally abuse someone or call them names.
No one is ‘asking’ for abuse. The only person to blame is the person doing the abusing.
‘No’ means no. It does not mean ‘try to persuade them’ or ‘ask again when they’ve had more to drink’.
‘Yes’ does not mean ‘100% yes’. It does not mean that consent for one thing means there is consent for everything.
Consent is allowed to change. People are allowed to change their minds, and that needs to be respected.
Alcohol affects judgment. If someone said ‘no’ sober, then understand it is also a ‘no’ when drunk. If someone said ‘yes’ while sober, then check in regularly to make sure it is still a ‘yes’ when drunk.
If someone is unable to communicate, then you consider that a ‘no’.
Don’t just make yourself accountable, you need to intervene if you see someone disrespecting the rules of consent. Call out harassment and sexist attitudes.

Life should be lived by a 'FUCK YES!' or 'FUCK NO!' policy...

Halloween is the only time in your life that you are able to party with a fireman, a smurf and a cheerleader all at the same time. You get to be your most creative self! Halloween is a spooky holiday, but it shouldn’t be a scary one. We all have the responsibility of making it a harassment-free Halloween, regardless of what people are wearing or drinking. Other than that, go dress up and have a wicked night!

Happy Hypersexual Halloween Popcorn.dating Buddies!

Rebecca Dane is one half of A Couple of Kinks – a sex-positive site that focuses on sex toy reviews, ‘how to’ guides and stories of their sex adventures. They are hoping to help impact the sex toy industry by focusing on safe, ethical and LGBT+ inclusive companies as well as help normalize sex and kink.