Getting over the vibrator

The magical powers of the vibrator are many. Twirling motions, duel action, vibration in various speeds, hell… they even come with the ability to attach to iPods and rattle to the beat of music!

But where does the glory of the vibrator become a hindrance?

They are certainly fun, no doubt. For some folks though, they can become a crutch—the only way to orgasm. This cannot only cause issues for the other person in the relationship, but it takes away from the beauty of orgasm without a toy.

The difficult part of chucking the vibrator is learning to orgasm without it

Whether it be an, “I’m learning to come again without electronic stimulus,” or an, “I’m learning to come for the first time without a vibrator.” For those that remember what it’s like to orgasm without one, ditching the toy might not be so devastating.

For those that don’t know what coming without it feels like, this is certainly more intimidating. I’ve known several women who completely depend on their vibrators, as they simply don’t come without them. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

There are so many ways to transition. What I suggest to ladies I know trying to ditch the toy is to first explore it. Really tune in and focus on which is their favorite, then to pay close attention as to why it’s the favorite. Does it move side to side? Is it the kind of vibration? Where does the movement happen? Inside, or mostly on the clit? All of these things matter and are clues as to what you can do to replicate what’s transpiring.

The reality is that if you can orgasm with a vibrator, you can without one too

If you’re someone who likes a lot of clitoral stimulation, simply be on top. Allow your partner to play with your clit as you fuck passionately or wildly, whatever your liking is. A pinch to the clit can make for some very powerful orgasms. If you like more internal side to side motion, ask him to be on top and to enter at an angle, then occasionally switch sides.

Size can also matter. Which makes a difference if you’re used to using a large dildo, and your new/current partner is average. One thing that can help will the feeling of fullness is to have stimulation in the anus as well. A glass or metal butt plug—larger in size—can give a fuller and tighter feeling for both parties as it pushes up against the backside of the vaginal canal and penis.

So many things can lead to a successful—non electronic—orgasm. The key is to pay attention to the body. To stay present. To be vocal of what feels good and what doesn’t. Even if your partner uses the vibrator to get you there, then does the old swaperoo, if you’re partner is inside you while you’re coming, your body will remember that sensation, and have an easier time getting there again.

So remember, getting over the vibrator doesn’t need to be an agonizing experience. Tune into your body and have fun with it!

Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, and most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.

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