New to Anal? 12 First-Time Anal Sex Tips for Beginners

Rushing into anal is never smart. If you're an anal virgin and curious about giving it a go, master beginner's backdoor play with our 12 first-time anal sex tips. Plus, discover the best anal positions to try out first. 

 

Anal sex has long been whispered about like it’s some forbidden door you’re not supposed to open… until you really, really want to. Once considered scandalous, or even “the last bargaining chip” in the bedroom, anal is now finding its way into mainstream conversations, memes, Reddit threads, and – ahem – POPular culture.

And the stats show it’s not just hype. In the UK, the proportion of 16- to 24-year-olds engaging in heterosexual anal sex has jumped from 12.5% to almost 30% in recent decades. And, in the US, surveys show a third to almost half of people have given it a go. So, if you're an anal virgin curious about first-time anal sex, you're deffo not alone. 

Part of the rise of anal comes from porn. Anal is everywhere in porn — which can create the idea that it’s quick, easy, and something women just do without preparation. But real life? Very different. In fact, doctors are seeing more and more health issues in women when anal sex isn’t done with care. Porn often skips the foreplay, the talking, the lube (so much lube). You – and your body – deserves better. 

What’s refreshing is that women are increasingly claiming anal for themselves. Instead of it being a “treat” to give a partner, many women now openly admit that they’re exploring anal sex for their own pleasure — the novelty, the kink; even the possibility of obtaining a female anal orgasm.

New to anal? Ease into it and take control by being on top

However, a quick read of this Reddit thread devoted to women who enjoy anal sex reveals that many of them had pretty rubbish first experiences. We want you to avoid that. So, if you're new to anal and curious about giving it a go, here’s our practical-yet-sassy guide to first-time anal sex: everything you need to feel prepared, empowered, and excited.

Anal Virgin? Pros and Cons

Before diving in butt-first, here are some pros and cons of first-time anal sex for women. This can help you make an informed choice, weighing up the pleasure and risk.

Pros (AKA why you might want to say yes):

• O-mazing potential A female anal orgasm feels very different to a clitoral or vaginal one. It can be deeper, more full-body, sometimes mixed with other types of pleasure.
• Taboo factor Doing the “naughty” thing together can crank up intimacy and trust. As sexologist Suzannah Weiss told Glamour, “Part of the appeal is breaking the taboo together, which can feel really bonding.”
• Pregnancy-free fun Almost zero risk of pregnancy — a big plus if you want to ditch that worry.
• Backup sexy time If you’re on your period or dealing with a UTI but still horny, anal can be an alternative to vaginal sex. 

Cons (AKA reasons to pause):

• Prep required Unlike vaginal sex, you can’t just jump in and hope for the best. First-time anal takes planning.
• Love it or nope it Some women discover they adore it; others try it once and never again. Totally fine either way.
• Pain worries Anal can hurt if rushed, but with patience, prep, and lube, that pain can often be swapped for pleasure.
   

First-Time Anal Tips

Ready to give anal a whirl? Here are 12 POP-style tips for anal for beginners. Think of this as your cheeky  but sensible  roadmap.
 

1. Chill out (literally and figuratively)

Your anal sphincter is a muscle — and muscles tense when you’re nervous. If you’re clenching with anxiety, penetration will feel like shoving against a locked door. Breathe, relax, maybe take a warm bath beforehand. As Weiss told Glamour, “Your mindset is half the game. Curiosity works better than fear.”

 

2. Clean, but don’t obsess

Bathroom trip first. A shower or gentle wipe around the outside is usually enough. You don’t need a full enema unless it makes you feel more confident. Douching – cleaning out the anus – is optional and needs caution.
 

“Women are increasingly claiming anal for themselves. Instead of it being a 'treat' to give a partner, many women admit to exploring anal sex for their own pleasure — the novelty, the kink; even obtaining a female anal orgasm.”

Some sources say mild, infrequent use of a warm water enema can help, but many experts caution not to overdo it (over-douching can irritate tissue, upset flora, etc.). Light meals, nothing too heavy, in the hours before will also help.

 

3. Talk it out

Communication is key. There is never a time for “surprise anal”, especially as a beginner. Communicate boundaries, fears, and turn-ons with your partner. Set up a stop-word. Talk about speed, depth, how fast to move, etc. Make sure your partner listens and respects.

 

4. Warm-up slowly, or solo

If you’re nervous, start with yourself. Fingers, some gentle ass play with a slim anal plug, even just some external massage. This way you’ll know what sensations feel good before involving a partner. As Weiss suggested to Glamour: “Play with yourself first to see what you like. If it’s not enjoyable solo, it’s unlikely to be with a partner.”

Then, when trying first-time anal with a partner, indulge in long foreplay beforehand. This helps relax both body and mind; the more aroused you are generally, the more comfortable you’ll be. The kinkier among you may even want to try a bit of rimming – AKA eating ass – if both you and your partner have done it before and are turned on it by it, of course. Stimulation of the anal area can help prepare for entry, but saliva alone is not enough. Speaking of which...

 

5. Invest in good lube (and use it generously)

Unlike your pussy, your ass does not self-lubricate. Lube is not optional. Silicone lubes are slick and long-lasting; water-based is toy- and strap-on friendly. Skip oils with latex condoms. And reapply often. Rule of thumb: when you think you’ve got enough, add more. If you're new to anal, lube is your bestie: it prevents tearing, friction, and pain.

Enjoy the anal experience and laugh off any mishaps

 

6. You’re in charge

For first-time anal sex, the receiver (you) should always control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration. Start shallow. If you want to stop, you stop. The first few times may only be partial insertions, a little in-and-out, or just a finger. Let your body adjust. If you try to force deeper than comfortable, you'll risk pain or damage. Make no exceptions.

 

7. Breathe and ease in

Deep, slow breaths help relax the sphincter. Exhale when something enters — it helps the sphincter relax. If you notice tension, stop, breathe, wait. You can also squeeze (gently contract) then relax the anal muscles to help them “warm up” before more penetration.

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8. Pain = pause

Burning? Sharp pain? Nope. That’s your body’s way of saying “slow down.” Sometimes it’s just “stretching discomfort”, but if it’s painful, don’t push on. Communicate it to your partner. Adjust position, add more lube, or take a break.

 

9. Wrap it up (yes, condoms)

Condoms protect against STIs and make cleanup easier. They also prevent bacteria transfer if you’re using anal toys. One condom per body part or toy — no crossovers.

 

10. Prep the vibe

Soft towels, wipes, music, even a candle if you like. Knowing you won’t ruin your sheets if there’s a little mess makes it easier to relax. Sometimes having a glass of water, massage oil, and mood music helps. Being in a comfortable space where you can pause, adjust, or stop matters.

 

11. Expect awkwardness (and laugh about it)

Your first time trying anal sex may not be porn-glam. There may be weird noises, odd sensations, a bit of poop mess, or just not much happening. That’s normal and doesn't mean failure or that it's not right for you.

 

“When trying first-time anal with a partner, indulge in long foreplay beforehand. This helps relax both body and mind; the more aroused you are generally, the more comfortable you’ll be.”

As sex educator Lola Jean told Women’s Health: “Anal is not about perfection. It’s about curiosity, fun, and experimentation.” Setting realistic expectations lowers anxiety, allows you to enjoy what is pleasurable rather than comparing to porn.

 

12. Aftercare is sexy too

Cuddling, talking, showering together, even laughing about it — all part of the experience. If you’re sore, take it easy. If you notice ongoing pain, bleeding, or symptoms like burning when peeing or anything else worrying, make an appointment with your doctor.

 

What Not to Do During First-Time Anal

Anal virgen? As well as the do's above, here are some don'ts to be aware of:

• Don’t switch from butt to vagina without changing condom. Hello, infections!
   
• Don’t forget your clit. Anal sex alone may not provide enough direct stimulation for you to orgasm: most women need clitoral stimulation too — anal plus clit = fireworks.
   
• Don’t rush. The number one killer of anal pleasure is impatience. Porn cuts to the action, but your body needs warm-up time. Going in hard or fast often leads to tearing, pain, or negative sensations. Slower, controlled, shallow is best if you're an anal virgin.

 

Best Anal Positions for Beginners

So, where do you start? Here are the best anal positions if you're new to backdoor action. 
 

1. Cowgirl (woman on top)

• Why it rocks: You’re in total control of depth and speed. You can stop or adjust immediately. You can also remove or shift without partner moving. Less pressure on pelvis. Perfect for first-time anal.
• How: Partner lies back. You straddle. Lower slowly, use lots of lube, lean forward/back to adjust angle. Start slowly, gradually increase depth as comfortable.

 

2. Spooning

• Why it rocks: Cozy, intimate, and less intimidating. Your body supported; less visual pressure also. Partner is behind, which allows entry at shallower, more natural angle. You can move your legs to adjust openness.
• How: Lie on your side, partner behind. Curl knees slightly. Partner gently aligns and begins shallow. You (receiver) can direct angle and depth. Use pillow under hip to help comfort.

 

3. Lap Dance Position

• Why it rocks: You get eye contact, closeness, and can move at your own pace. Less thrusting pressure. Good for slowing things down
• How: Sit on partner’s lap facing them (or facing away if more comfortable), controlling motion with hips. Lean forward or backward depending on comfort. Start shallow, move gradually.

 

4. Doggy (trust required!)

• Why it rocks: Great angle, deeper penetration possible. But only if your partner listens to you and goes slowly. However, for anal for beginners, this may be more intense, so only use if you feel comfortable, relaxed, and have established trust.
• How: On hands/knees. Partner enters from behind while you back up onto their cock at your own pace. Start shallow, communicate constantly.

 

After First-Time Anal Sex

What happens after anal matters as much as beforehand.

• Cuddle check-in: Talk, laugh, reassure. Emotional intimacy makes the physical stuff feel lighter.
• Clean up: Shower, wipes, fresh sheets. If any small bleeding, clean it and monitor.Toys/condoms cleaned or tossed.
• Monitor your body: Some soreness = normal. But if you feel pain, bleeding, or signs of infection, don’t ignore it.
• Reflect: Did you enjoy it? Did it match what you expected? Do you want to try again? It’s OK if you want to wait, adjust, try different positions, more lube next time, etc.
• Self-care: Soothing creams, warm baths, rest. Your body may feel tender. Give it time.

 

Takeaway: First-Time Anal For Beginners

Being new to anal is like trying a daring cocktail: exciting, maybe messy, possibly not your taste — but absolutely worth a sip if you’re curious. The keys: communication, prep, patience, and yes, oceans of lube.

Remember: you’re not doing this because porn says it’s normal or because a partner begged. You’re doing it because you're curious and you want to. First-time anal can be sexy, silly, intense, or surprising — but it’s yours to explore, on your terms.

 

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