Have better sex: Pick the right vibrator for you

There are so many different kinds of vibrators: Oscillators, pulsators, clit stims, g spotters, couples vibes, vibrating c rings, rabbits, wands, battery operated, waterproof, splashproof, rechargeable, silicone, hard plastic, jelly dreams… They come in many shapes, sizes, with different purposes and a multitude of materials. How is one to navigate through this labyrinth?

It's actually fairly simple: I, who have reviewed more than a couple products in my time and who has worked in a variety of adult retail situations, will give you some advice:

Whether or not you’re buying products in a store or online, these tips are important to keep in mind:

Do your vibrator research

Really think about your preferences—especially if you’re a first time vibrator buyer—think about what you like to stimulate and how. Read a lot of product reviews. Don't worry about whether or not a review is positive or negative, just read through and pay attention to how the reviewer describes the product and how it feels. A good reviewer will give you a lot of information, knowing that everyone likes different things—something they might really hate might be something you’d really love!

Consider what you want from the product. For example, 70% of people with clitorises can only orgasm with clitoral stimulation, especially deep reaching internal clitoral stimulation, which only happens with thumpy, deep vibrations. Maybe you also want to experiment with a G Spot toy. While rabbit/dual-stim style and ‘couples’ vibes won’t fit everyone’s setups, a curved g spot vibrator can be used internally or externally, so these are a good place to start if you’re investing in a high quality rechargeable vibrator.

Consider materials

Silicone is long lasting, sterilizable, body safe and hypoallergenic. Although porous options like jelly, TPR, TPE/elastomer, cyberskin, and a whole slew of ‘proprietary blends’ of porous plastic are becoming less likely to be toxic, they are still porous- which means you can never truly clean them, they’ll harbor dirt, bacteria, STIs, and potentially mold, and they’ll break down over time, meaning you’ll have to throw out and replace them, and lower quality products might cause chemical burns or other nastiness. They shouldn’t be shared between partners or orifices and you shouldn’t use them if you have an infection of any sort, or you could re-infect yourself later. Save yourself the headache and invest in a quality non-porous option.

Remember: girth is more important than length

You can control how much of the length you use, but girth can’t be avoided. 1 inch (2.5 cm) in diameter is for people who have pain with penetration or prefer small toys, 1.25-1.5 inches (3-4 cm) is pretty average, 1.75-2 inches (4.5-5 cm) is considered big for most, and bigger than that is size queen territory. Plan accordingly, but also remember that extreme ridges will seem bigger than they are and completely smooth surfaces seem a lot smaller than they are.

Consider the size of the vibrator. Smaller or pointy-er vibes will have very pinpoint stimulation, while larger and broader sizes or shapes will have broader stimulation, and people have their preferences for external bits, like clitorises. If you’re not sure and getting something specifically for clitoral stim, vibrators with a teardrop spoon shape, such as the we-vibe touch, are versatile and a good way to experiment if you’re not sure.

Read between the lines

A lot of products say ‘waterproof’ but are not submersible; if you’re looking for something to use in the tub or shower determine if it’s submersible first. Toys that are rechargeable using a magnet, like Je Joue We Vibe, or Fun Factory fit the bill and Lelo’s newer products have a special jack that makes them submersible, too.

Buy in person

Seeing products in person is ideal. Even if you’re planning on buying something online, try to go into a store and see it first, and consider supporting your local superhero sex shop if there’s one you can access. These awesome stores usually focus on quality products and their sales people double as highly qualified sex educators.

If you can see a product out of the packaging and charged/with batteries/plugged in—most awesome shops have testers on their shelves or behind the counter, just ask if you don’t see any—put it on your nose. Your nose is sensitive like your bits, much more than your fingers are. This will help you gauge the quality of the vibrations. Some vibrations are very surface level, and these will concentrate on the tip of your nose. Others are really thumpy and penetrating, these ones will be felt in all of your nose and potentially into your face and sinuses. Vibrations really differ from one product to another, so this is really important.

Shopping online? Reviews and size considerations are even more important, since you can’t see the product in person. You’ll have to really get a good idea of what the product is like first—there are not many companies that take any returns on adult products, quite understandably.

Pro tip: Don’t shop at Amazon. Don’t shop at Amazon because they’re killing small business, but also because there is absolutely no way to guarantee your product is the legitimate thing, and the warranty will never be honored by the manufacturer, even if it is. Just don’t do it. More reasons why here.

And those are your basic vibrator tips and tricks! Need more advice? Leave it in the comments.

Caitlin is a writer, sex educator, consultant, and product reviewer who focuses primarily on issues of sex toy and accessory safety, pleasure, sexuality, gender, and more. You can learn more, or ask any questions, at their website- www.sex-ational.com.

 


Images by tox brown and Chanel Beck via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 license