Why you should be vocal during sex

Are you vocal during sex?


“Don’t stop, baby! Don’t stop!” This could sound like a bad porn flick, or done right, give your partner the sense that they are doing something you like and to keep going! Being vocal during sex isn’t easy. There’s a fine balance between communication that’s hot and saying something that totally kills the mood.



Why is being vocal important?



No two bodies are alike. This means that what feels good to one person may not feel good to another. You can be the best lover in existence and still not please everyone. We are individuals, and that means different things work for each of us. Letting your partner know when something is working for you is helpful. Especially if you’re still in the ‘getting to know your body’ phase. 



I’ve always been vocal about what I like. I found that even at a young age, if someone did something that didn’t feel good, I’d ask for what I knew did. Other times I’d move the person’s hand, or shift my body until I found the right angle. But when your partner is caught up in their own feel good mojo, those physical actions may not be as obvious. Many folks also have a difficult time reaching orgasm, and this is where being vocal comes in handy.



How can I be vocal without killing the mood?

Talking dirty can be hot and add to the encounter. But if it reminds you of bad porn or annoying song lyrics, it’s likely to pull both parties from the moment. Saying in a seductive voice, “Please don’t stop,” can be much more arousing and sexy.



If you want something completely different to happen, there are ways to approach that too. When I’m speaking to my husband, I’ll simply ask him for what I want. But we know one another well. We’ve been together for many years and feel comfortable being direct about what we want and need. With new partners, though, being so direct can feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or make them think I’m not enjoying them as a person. In those cases, I’ll say, “Would you mind trying this?” 



Some relationships require being vocal. 

One of my current partners wants to know he’s doing something I like by my being loud about it. In this case, I can say just about anything. Whether it’s screaming for him to go harder, not to stop, or begging him to use his fist on me. 



The best way to figure out how to talk to your partner is by asking beforehand. Find out what they prefer. Do they want feedback during sex? After? In what manner should you say it? These things make a huge difference when it comes to pulling someone from the moment or making communication hotter than hell. 



Remember, communication is vital to our relationships. This includes being vocal about sex, sometimes during sex! Learning what your partner finds hot before can help your approach during, and take a dull moment into a place of screaming orgasm.



Sienna Saint-Cyr writes erotica and blogs about kink, poly, body image, most things relating. Follow her on her website or on Twitter @siennasaintcyr.