7 Homemade sex toys you never knew existed

Sometimes a quick wank just doesn’t cut it. It simply isn’t enough and there’s only so many times you can imagine your hot neighbour is doing it for you. With a huge market of sex toys proudly showcased for women, there are very few targeting men. How many men do you know that boast about their fleshlight? Well, you needn't stress, here are seven homemade sex toys you never knew existed and can happily* make at home…

1. The ‘Fifi’

With its childlike name, this has to be the most simple of homemade sex toys that’ll get you thinking a little different next time you see someone doing the washing up. To create the ‘Fifi’ simply fold a towel up, grab a rubber glove and place it with the open side out before folding the towel around the glove to create a tight hole. But if you can only get hold of some bright yellow marigolds, don’t fret because it will still look the most unsexy a sex toy can ever look. Apply lube and go to town with this one.

2. The ‘sponge bottle’

If you’re the kind of person that likes having the occasional wank in out of the ordinary places, this will be perfect, if you’ve got an arts and crafts box with you of course. Simply grab a soda bottle, some scissors, a couple sponges, tape and some sponges (without the scratchy sides, or it’ll end in tears) and go for it. And with this some sex toy creatives online have managed to conjure up this toy in a similar way to the ‘Fifi’, with a tight tube ready to slide right in to.

3. The good ol’ flogger

You can probably see where it’s going with this one. For the Art Attack version of a flogger you’ll need some sort of handle and some strips of something to whip with. Don’t wear that old leather jacket anymore? Why not strip it into pieces and carefully wrap some tape round it to create the perfect bedroom accessory. Who would have thought? And it saves a trip to the charity shop to ditch those unwanted clothes. You just might need to be imaginative with what you used as a handle.

4. The inner tube ride

Now, you’re never going to see this one coming, unless you’re glued to YouTube day and night. Well, let me introduce you to the Inner Tube Ride, the created by Gary Busey, this homemade sex toy provides its user with both camouflage and pleasure while having a dip in the river… According to Busey, this inner tube allows men to slip their cock into it without being noticed. Why you’d be in a river at the time is beyond me. Yet, with an inner tube (preferably the head duty kind from a tire), some rubber hosing and some sealant, you’ve got the perfect combination to a very different orgasm. You can also try this one in the shower, with some lube of course.

5. The couch cushion for ‘pushin’

You’re about to get very very friendly with your sofa/couch with this one. Little did I know this small plastic concoction will have men everywhere humping their sofas for that extra bit of pleasure. Have no idea what I’m talking about? Well, grab a zip lock bag, cut the seal strip off, squirt some lube and put it under a cushion, then go for it. Push down on the sofa for some extra pressure if you’re a fan of the ‘blind man’s wank’ idea.

6. The squeeze toy

It may look a bit more like some sort of torture device, but if you grab some of those spiky-looking toys you’ll find at your local pet shop, wrap a plastic glove around them and cover your cock in some lube, according to YouTuber ‘MekodachiUD’ you’ll be well on the way to getting your kick with this rather, er, interesting new sex toy. Not only will you never look strange picking up some of those spiky toys from the pet shop, but it might encourage you to experiment with some different textures you’d never even thought of before.

7. The popcorn surprise

You've heard of that old trick haven’t you? Offering your date some popcorn with the hope of them being pleasantly surprised when they find your cock in the middle of it. Because that’ll break the ice for sure. But even if you give up halfway through making this homemade sex toy, the Popcorn Surprise will come in handy for practical jokes too. All you need is a toilet roll tube, a cardboard bucket of some kind, some scissors, latex gloves and some lube and we’ll leave the rest to your imagination.

*Results may vary. Use common sense, and definitely don't take advice from websites called Popcorn.dating

Image by Bi Guy 1970 via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 licence