As a lesbian in a large group of friends I get asked all sorts when it comes to climbing into bed with someone. We’ve all been asked ‘how do lesbians have sex?’ at some point, haven’t we? So, I think it’s about time we discussed some of the myths about lesbian sex and set a few things straight. Oh the irony...
Myth 1: All lesbians love scissoring. Apparently.
This isn’t true. Have you seen how awkward scissoring is? Why would I want to spend my evening doing body origami when there is real fun to be had.
Myth 2: Lesbian sex isn’t real sex
While oral is all part of the fun, it isn’t the only way we get off either. Lesbian sex isn’t quite what you’ll find in textbooks, and the ‘birds and the bees’ doesn’t quite cover it. And so, lesbian sex appears elusive and mysterious to many. All the body parts us women have just seem to click in every way possible. Oh and why not throw in a dildo every now and then if you want.
Myth 3: One of us must be the more dominant one
Okay so you might be used to seeing a guy and a girl going at it, you know, as the bigots say Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. But whether its two men or two women, nobody has to take the dominant role or ‘be the man’. So don’t go presuming that there’s a butch/femme dynamic in every situation.
Myth 4: Using a strapon must mean we want cock
Clearly not. It’s all about the feel of it. After all, strap ons are shaped like penises because penises fit into vaginas pretty damn well. What do you expect them to look like? A shoe? We like the feeling of penetration, and the beautiful woman giving it to us. Especially when her penis is purple.
Myth 5: All lesbian sex is exactly like it is in porn
Really no. The women you see in those girl-on-girl videos are usually a man’s fantasy (young, shaved, highly feminine and big chested) and up for anything with the woman conveniently naked in front of them. When really women come in all shapes and sizes and are naturally, not stereotypically, beautiful. And what I’ll never understand is when these ‘lesbians’ suck a strap on? See myth 4—I don’t recall any gay woman doing that. Ever.
Myth 6: Lesbians don’t do sexy lingerie
Yes, we really do. Where do people even get this stuff from? There’s nothing better than going shopping with your girlfriend and being able to pick out something you know she’ll love taking off you later.
Myth 7: All lesbians do well is oral sex. (please see myth 2 if you have forgotten that quickly!)
Okay so we may be the masters of oral, but there are plenty more things on the menu when it comes to getting down and dirty. Lesbian sex is as varied as straight sex, and far more fun. Believe me.
Myth 8: We want to have sex with all our female friends
Now I think this has to be one of the myths I hate the most. Oh, you’re a girl too? Let’s hook up. Just no. So from time to time we might have a cheeky drunken kiss or pull the ‘this is my girlfriend’ card when some creep approaches, but other than that, I’d prefer to keep my friends as just that.
Myth 9: Most lesbians secretly just haven’t had sex with the right man yet
Ohhhhh, so that’s where I've been going wrong all these years. So that guy I dated back in high school just wasn't the one for me, but I’ll keep telling myself he’s out there somewhere. Funny how I’ve enjoyed sex with every woman I’ve been with one hundred times over… One fluke after another obviously.
Myth 10: And finally, that all lesbian couples eventually have “bed death”
This is completely untrue. Why would lesbian couples have less sex than any other? Forgive me if I’m wrong, but when it feels that good, why would it ever fizzle out into nothingness. We might like to watch the L Word and keep ourselves busy (filling every other stereotype, obviously…) but there is always time for some hanky panky.
© Annette Shaff / Dollar Photo Club and Eillen1981 / Dollar Photo Club and LesMedia with a CC BY 2.0 Licence
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