Sex Tips | How do I Tell My Partner I'm Into Crossdressing?

Looking for sex tips or relationship advice? You've come to the right place! Popcorn.dating presents sex columnist, photographer and sex blogger Molly Moore who's here to answer all of your burning questions. This month, Molly gives her best advice to a man afraid to tell his girlfriend he's into crossdressing. 

Ever since I was a teenager, I have been turned on by the idea of wearing women's clothes. I have never done it though but the more time that goes by, the more the idea of crossdressing turns me on. The problem is, I am too scared of what other people might think? I am not gay; I know I am hugely attracted to women. Am I weird for wanting to do this? 
Please help me
R

Dear R

There is nothing weird about wanting to be a crossdresser or being turned on by the idea of wearing women's clothes. It is a widely acknowledge fetish that is extremely popular. Crossdressing has nothing to do with your sexual orientation either.

Many men who enjoy dressing in woman's clothes are straight; they just get turned on by the act of crossdressing. You don't say if you are in a relationship or not, but I think that does make a difference to what you can do. If you are single and have your private living space, then there is nothing stopping you from starting to explore your desires.

You can start out small if you are worried; maybe with some panties or a bra. If you enjoy it, maybe look to expand your crossdresser wardrobe. Clothes are not cheap, and you might want to think about visiting some charity shops to do that.  Having your private space means that you can explore crossdressing at your own pace. Moreover, you can take some time to learn what it is about it that works for you before sharing your desires with anyone else. 

If you are in a relationship with someone, then that does complicate things, especially if you are living with that person. In that case, it is a lot harder to explore in private. If you don't live with them, then I think it is OK to spend a bit of time exploring on your own before trying to introduce them to it. Living together makes that much harder, but if you want to try it out without them knowing, maybe just begin exploring with some underwear. The more confident you are about crossdressing, the more natural I think it will be for you to introduce it to your partner. However, please be cautious. Being caught crossdressing by a partner would be a terrible way to start such a conversation and probably make for a complicated situation.  

Bringing your crossdressing up with a partner is not easy, but please don't let that put you off. Sharing your desires with your partner makes for a better and happier sex life together. I think beginning with some subtle suggestions is a good idea. Maybe make a playful joke about wondering what you might look like in her panties. Or casually mention that you have always wondered what tights feel like to wear. 

Alternatively, it might be an idea to find some erotica which plays with the themes of crossdressing, and to share it with your partner. That is a great way to start a conversation as you can explore together what elements of the story turned you on. 

Your partner is going to have questions about what you want to do and why it turns you on, so try to have answers ready. Be open and honest with her. Even if some of her questions sound judgemental, try not to be defensive but calm and encouraging. If she feels comfortable about talking to you openly and discussing any fears or worries, that's great. It might mean she is open to the idea of exploring crossdressing with you or at least giving you space to do so. 

There is a community out there too where you can reach out. There are sites like Fetish.com where you can meet crossdressers who you can talk to about your desires. They may also have had experience of introducing crossdressing to a partner, and they will be able to offer you valuable advice.

By reaching out for crossdressing advice and stating your desires, you have already taken a significant step forward in accepting what you want. That will ultimately help you to get to a place where you feel comfortable to explore them.

Good luck! Molly xx


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