Is rebound sex ever cool? Breaking up is no joke, but getting laid without making a commitment might just take the sting out of it
Rebound sex sometimes happens without a whole lot of forward planning, friends get you out to ‘forget about him/her’, you end up drunk in the arms of a warm, willing stranger and it goes from there. How you interpret that kind of random one night stand sex is up to you, but there are plenty of jilted lovers who sleep around for fun and are mainly motivated by a break-up. It doesn’t work on every broken heart, but for others, getting laid improves their self confidence and can be a complete game changer in terms of their emotional recovery.
Even if you’re still plagued with doubt in private, rebound sex can be a satisfying way of publicly signaling you’re over it. Whether you’ve been dumped or you initiated the split, leaving a partner is one of the worst things to endure; it hurts like hell, eating becomes a chore and crying at work can make your personal life go public – it’s a mess. Friends provide moral support, but they can’t go through it with you. The grieving process is never brief, but we all, eventually, move on.
During this period, brace yourself for well-meaning advice along the lines of; ‘throw out all the bedding you shared’, ‘unfollow them online’, or ‘hit that gym hard’. Survival techniques can be pretty exhausting, but how you take control of the situation in the short term is up to you. For most of us there are two ways it can go; either sit around in a onesie listening to Taylor Swift on a loop or get up and get your freak on.
Once you accept it, the sense of liberation after a breakup can be heady
Hate rom-coms? Don’t watch ‘em. Not a gamer? Get rid of the consoles. Want to shop all day? Do it. Life is your own again, so live it. Flirt with strangers, buy extravagant shoes, set up that Tinder account you’ve been considering – whatever, there’s no one looking over your shoulder anymore. Boost your ego by doing what makes you happy and if that happens to be wild, steamy, casual sex, then go for it.
Towards the end of a bad relationship you can feel stifled, like you’ve lost track of yourself somewhere along the way. If you’ve got a high sex-drive or you feel that certain chemistry was missing from your previous relationship, it can be tempting to look for new erotic experiences when you’re free again. Even when getting into bed is about as exciting as rearranging a sock drawer, relationships can stagger on for years. Couples stay together out of habit or platonic love, but in the longer term that’s rarely enough to keep both sides happy. Sleeping with someone you’ve got no intention of falling for can reignite your sexuality, remind you of what you’ve been missing, and in turn raise your expectations of a future partner.
Your body is too important for pleasure-free sex
Time is healer, but a lover with skillful bedroom capabilities can be a shortcut to feeling better faster, plus you’ll start to see yourself as being desirable and hot again. But like all hanky-panky, rebound sex is only good when mutual – so don’t let it become automatic or habitual. Keep a check on how long you’ve been jumping into bed without feeling any romantic attachment and try to avoid having this become the norm in your life. Sleeping with someone can be done out of lust instead of love, but your body is too important for pleasure-free sex. It’ll end up demoralizing and dull, so even if it’s just a fling, make sure that’s what you really want and always get into bed with your eyes wide open.
© lenets_tan / Dollar Photo Club and artcouple999 via Flickr with CC BY 2.0 license
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