Subverting categories
Bisexuality is, surprisingly, still a problematic category for some in an era when we like to classify people. Calling people straight or gay is no problem for most people but bisexuals are often treated with suspicion. Bisexual people are sometimes called ‘greedy’ as a malicious term, due to their desire for intimacy with both men and women. Bisexual people are also seemingly hard to classify for some people, and they may not even know how to introduce their bisexual friends.
In this feature, I look at the experiences of two bisexual people who are in poly households. They have close relationships with more than one person, but not open relationships beyond that. There is an expectation by some that bisexuals must always benefit wholeheartedly from mixed-gender poly relationships but this is not necessarily the case as we shall see.
Jessica’s story: bisexual queen bitch
I am a tall and attractive woman of Asian-American heritage who now lives in London as part of a poly household. I have always known that I was bisexual and in the small town that I grew up in I had a reputation for dating both men and women. Some people were scared of me because I was always physically very dominant with my partners, giving them love bites until their necks were red and sore and pushing them against a wall to push and grope them.
In London I met Matt, Layla and Ann who were part of an existing poly household. Matt was straight and Layla and Ann were bisexual. They had initially met as part of a flat share, and Layla and Ann found that they were quite lazy and enjoyed fucking each other, and Matt, on a regular basis. Their lives revolved around working Monday to Friday and then spending the weekend watching DVDs, eating takeaways and having sex in various beds around the house. I was looking for a place to stay in London and meet Layla in a club who said that they had a spare room.
Once I was part of that house I knew that I was not going to simply be part of that cosy relationship. I saw it has a chance to meet my own needs, and impose my will upon lazy Matt, Layla and Ann. The first thing that I demanded was that once they came home from work on a Friday that they should strip naked and then run me a bath, pampering and massaging me. Strangely, they seemed to acquiesce to this as a task and I felt that they needed some discipline in their lives. I became the self-styled queen bitch of the house. It started as a joke, but it soon became more of a reality. The next weekend, I had bought maid’s outfits for Matt, Layla and Ann who became my personal maids and, when I wanted it (which was often) my human fuck toys. I did enjoy arranging Matt, Layla and Ann in increasingly complex and frustrating sexual positions whilst I filmed them for my personal use.
So for me, being bisexual and in a poly relationship was the best thing that could have happened to me. I have a lovely house, three willing slaves who love me very much, and as many orgasms as I want. However, sometimes I wonder if a non-BDSM poly relationship would suit me better in the future.
Gregg’s story: when boundaries break down
My name is Gregg. I live as part of a poly household which is very extensive. There are about twenty of us altogether, in two connected houses, in a rural location. We don’t really communicate much with people outside of the village that we are in so things can get very intense in the house. Living in the house means that we have a very fluid poly lifestyle. There is no exclusivity, but we need to constantly monitor this to make sure that things do not break down. We are all identify with being bisexual in some fashion but there are degrees of this and whilst some would orientate ourselves with being straight most of the time, others of us are predominantly gay but will sleep with women sometimes.
I consider myself to be truly bisexual in that it is not really about the gender at all but rather my attraction towards the person that I am with at that time. I am also very highly sexed. Unfortunately, this has sometimes got me into difficulties. Whilst other people in the house seem to be able to control the intensity of their relationships with other people, I seem to get involved very quickly.
One example of this was when I was with Glenn and Maggie. Glenn was a handsome man, not tall but very muscular and Maggie was a really blonde, cheerleader type. One week I spent nearly all of my time with the two of them. If I was not sucking on Glenn’s hard, strongly veined, cock whilst Maggie masturbated over my face I would be fucking Maggie’s pussy whilst Glenn stuck his dick into my ass, thrusting me as I thrust into Maggie. The bed was literally covered in cum stains at the end of the week but we just carried on, forgetting about the rest of the poly household.
We got into trouble then, as we had all fallen in love and lust as a trio. It was not to do with me being bisexual, but the household really turned on me rather than Glenn and Maggie. I was seen as being the one who had caused the problem. I subsequently decided to leave and nearly cried when I saw that Glenn and Maggie had decided to come with me.
A happy ending?
In practice, being bisexual and living in a poly household is not, automatically, the best of all worlds. Just like with any sexual orientation, and relationship type, it very much depends on personality types and the nature of the situation. Jessica and Gregg found happiness in their own ways, but this was not necessarily just to do with their bisexuality or their desire for a poly relationship. In practice, things are always more complicated, and it is best to enjoy your sexuality, and sex, and trust your feelings.
photo by Purple Sherbet Photography via Flickr under a CC BY 2.0 license.
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