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Alphabet soup time! B: bondage- physically or psychologically restricting movements of another. D: domination- having power or control over another. S: sadism- finding pleasure in causing pain to another. M: masochism- getting pleasure from receiving pain from another. Put it all together and what’ve you got? BDSM: a subculture shrouded in misconceptions. Your mind just probably flashed to latex catsuits and dungeons. Or CEOs being dominated by women with whips wearing unbelievably high stilettos. The BDSM world is unique in the fact it’s the leader in consent culture. Meaning it is psychologically speaking, a very healthy community. Everything done between partners is consensual and discussed beforehand whilst sober. You hear people talk a lot about ‘safe words’ and that’s where it comes from. Someone screaming ‘No! Please stop!’ can be a major turn on for some people, so when you hear ‘Reindeer!’ you know it’s time to immediately stop and check in. The intensity in BDSM relationship is based on handing over your trust to another person knowing that trust will not be broken. Everyone is equal in this world. A Bottom is in just as much control as the Top and vice versa. Pain is a natural fantasy most people have and when it’s discussed and consensual, exchanges can be incredible. But if the pain is a one-sided desire perhaps a bit of therapy is in order to discover where this want came from. For people unfamiliar with the BDSM world please don’t read or watch 50 Shades and think it’s a how-to-guide. Perhaps a how-to-NOT. If this world is interesting or exciting to you- get on some forums, check out your local kink clubs or munches and explore this often misunderstood world. Want to learn more about how to take a beating? Submission, Domination, Sadomasochism

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